How to Set Boundaries Without Blowing Up the Group Chat

Living in shared student accommodation can be an amazing experience — but it can also come with challenges. When someone’s hogging the washing machine, treating the parking space like their personal driveway, or turning the house into a second home for their partner… tensions can rise fast.

If you’re struggling with housemates who don’t pull their weight, don’t respect shared spaces, or blur the lines on boundaries — this guide is for you.

Whether you’re in a student flat in Lincoln, a shared house in Nottingham, or halls in Hull, we’ve got practical advice on handling awkward housemate conversations like a pro.

🚩 Common Signs of a Disrespectful Housemate

Let’s be real — most student houses have at least one of these:

The boyfriend who unofficially moves in, but never contributes to bills
The bin dodger, who somehow never notices when it’s overflowing
The parking permit pirate, who thinks both spaces are fair game
The bathroom monopoliser, taking 40-minute showers before every 9am
The one who just doesn’t believe in rinsing plates before stacking them

If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone.

💬 Why You Have to Talk About It

Awkward conversations suck — but staying silent makes it worse. Left unspoken, small habits turn into huge frustrations that can damage friendships and make your home feel tense.

So how do you talk about it without starting a full-blown war over whose turn it is to clean the toilet?

🗣️ Tip 1: Choose the Right Time and Tone

Timing is everything. Don’t bring it up mid-argument or when you’re fuming about a stolen yoghurt. Wait for a calm moment — ideally when everyone’s around — and bring it up politely but directly.

Try:

“Hey guys, can we have a quick chat about something that’s been bothering me a bit about how we’re sharing the space?”

Keep it light, honest, and non-confrontational. You’re housemates, not enemies.

🚪 Tip 2: Set Boundaries Around Overnight Guests

It’s normal to have partners or friends visit — but when they start using your hot water, toilet roll, or Netflix account regularly, it’s time to talk.

Try;

“We all agreed it was fine to have guests now and then, but lately it’s felt like some guests are here full-time. Can we figure out a fair way to manage this so everyone’s comfortable?

You can suggest guest limits per week or a “check first” rule for multi-night stays.

TIP: Remember, you're permitted to have guests stay overnight, but no more than 2 consecutive nights, and no more than 5 nights in any 14 day period.

🅿️ Tip 3: Be Clear on Shared Resources (Like Parking)

Only got two parking permits but three housemates with cars? It’s easy for things to get messy.

The key here is transparency and agreement. Consider:

A weekly rotation
First come, first served with a backup street nearby
Offering the permits to the two cars that are used most often

What’s not okay? Someone claiming both permits for themselves or letting their partner park daily without asking.

🧺 Tip 4: Don’t Let Chores Slide Into Chaos

If one person is always taking the bins out or unclogging the shower drain, resentment builds. Fast.

Create a clear, visible chore rota and make sure it’s being followed. Try apps like:

Splitwise for tracking shared expenses
Tody for assigning cleaning tasks
Or just a fridge whiteboard — old school, but effective

And remember: “I didn’t know it was my turn” is rarely true.

🚫 Tip 5: Call Out Passive-Aggression

Notes on fridges. Moved laundry on the stairs. Group chat explosions. If it feels like a cold war, it’s time to clear the air.

Say something like:

“I feel like there’s been tension around [issue], and I’d rather we just talked about it than let it get awkward. Can we figure out a way forward together?

Being direct beats passive-aggressive every time.

🤝 Tip 6: Suggest a House Meeting (With Snacks)

If there are multiple issues cropping up — and they’re starting to affect your daily life — suggest a short house meeting. Frame it as a way to make the house more chill and fair for everyone.

Set a short agenda, agree on a few ground rules, and maybe bring snacks to soften the vibe.

📞 Tip 7: When to Get Your Letting Agent Involved

If you’ve tried raising the issue and nothing changes, or things escalate into disrespect, aggression, or property damage, it’s time to get help.

At Student Housing, we’re here to support you. Whether it’s mediation, reminders about tenancy terms, or helping set clearer expectations — we’ve got your back.

🧠 Final Thought

No one wants to be the “naggy housemate” — but you also don’t want to live in a house where you feel walked over.

You deserve to feel respected in your home. With a bit of confidence, fairness, and the right wording, you can have the conversations that keep things calm, clean, and drama-free.